dietingordeath (dietingordeath) wrote,

I have been doing a lot of research lately on eating disorders. It is so intresitng. I thought I had an eating disorder but maybe I am wrong. All i know is it is time for me to make that change you. I do not see myself as anorexic.
I see it as a extreem diet. I think the differance between m and people who have anorexia is that I do not want to be 100 pounds I do not want to see my ribs.. I just want to be normal.. I am so big in commperison to the girls I have been meeting and they still think they are fat. They proubly will die if they where ever the size I am. I shoulD HAVE NEVER LET MYSELF GO THIS FAR...I make myself so mad about the whole situation but being mad does not help anyone. So I began a fast today my first offical fast. I am going to go all liquids. However I will not force myself to go very long this first time. I can not stand the dizziness. I hate that the most.Even as I post this I am thinking about the left over spagetti I have in my fridge.. If it was not for the fact that I am at woork I would be eating it right now. Food just controls my life.. I also just love soft
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