dietingordeath (dietingordeath) wrote,

okay so after more research and feed back from other people the ed of choice seems to be starvation.. I want to put some truth out there because it has come to my attention the my stats are shifty and I want everyone to know why.. I have two scales... one in wich i started with but it was acting screwy so i bought another my starting weight on the old scale was well ove 270 and now as of today it says 225. So is has been going down down down .. however the new scales although it has also been going down is higher then the other.. I prefer to go buy the scale I started with.. my boyfriend weighed himself on it and he is heavier on the new scale too.. i think i will spend the extra cash and get one of those awsome weight watchers ones with the body fat cal and everything... so how did i do last night...

went home piged out on that spagetti I was craving and I also had so turky blts...but i purged and then i went to the gym and worked out for about a half hour went home and walked the dog for an hour and the did over 100 crunches... The scale went down 2 more pounds bringing me to 225 I will jump for joy when I am under 200 pounds.. not matter what it takes this summer i will be thin I will be in a bikinni. and I will be happy...

My happiness has never been determined by my size i think i would be just as happy if I was 300 pounds although it would suck.. I love the fact that i have lost now 59 pounds because i have so much more energy my cloths fit great I have a bunch of self essteme. Also I have had a lot of postive comment on the way I look. I think now I have a few minutes to talk about why I started this jounal. I live with my fiance and he is around alot I vomit frequently and eat not so frequently I was telling him for the longest time it was due to my galbladder and I felt bad him always confroting me when I was doing it or purpose.. so one night when we where both a little messed up I explained to him that was my way of loosing the weight I am also eating better and exercsing he does not like it but agreed it would be okay if I wrote a nval about it so I decided I would do that here it is easiest for me... I will track my process and thoughts...

Now after dinner he walks the dog and i purge but we love each other and will work though anything together
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